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Hooting Yard: Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning Pt. II
Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning was published in an edition of twenty-five copies in 1994, under the Hooting Yard Press imprint and – save for a brief, rewritten, extract posted here...
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Hooting Yard: Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning Pt. III
Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning was published in an edition of twenty-five copies in 1994, under the Hooting Yard Press imprint and – save for a brief, rewritten, extract posted here some...
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Hooting Yard: Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning Pt. IV
Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightning was published in an edition of twenty-five copies in 1994, under the Hooting Yard Press imprint and – save for a brief, rewritten, extract posted here...
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Hooting Yard: Real Orghast
N.B. As an episode of “Obsequies For Lars Talc, Struck By Lightening” is missing from the audio archive it has been decided, by the Soup Committee members no less, to carry on regardless with the...
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Hooting Yard: The Distance Between The Aerodrome And The Zoo.
Miss Goosebeak seems not to have considered what became of Pontius Pilate’s “ectoplasmic spirit essence” between the governor of Judaea’s death circa 37 AD and Noddy’s first appearance almost two...
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Hooting Yard: Art Squad.
Yes, sad to say there was a time when I was beset by anxiety dreams, in which I was poised, with a sharp pair of scissors, to cut out “guns” and its definition from a brand new dictionary, the pot of...
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Hooting Yard: The Breadcrumbs Man
On a stormy March day precisely one year after the historic picnic, the Viper Pit of Gaar was officially renamed the Bottomless Viper Pit of Gaar at a special pitside ceremony. The mayor, the beadle,...
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Hooting Yard: Charging Ostrich of Fire.
Against this, one could argue two things. If the cage was constructed from flimsy materials, it might be that the burgeoning ostrich would simply cause the birdcage to fall to bits around it as it...
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Hooting Yard: Advice Regarding Eggs.
When the rest of the family returns from the pantry, each in turn must use skill, judgement, and knowledge of ship construction to declare whether the parlour is now a poop deck or an orlop deck....
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Hooting Yard: Art Squad!
Obviously I am going to have to ascertain the precise nature of the Poultry Guidance Bureau’s business before I can make a proper fist of the Art Squad. It might be, for example, that our art will...
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Hooting Yard: The Wooden Lake.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE I. Please remain seated during the more exciting moments. II. If for any reason you need to mop your brow, use a dainty napkin. III. Spillages must be paid for...
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Hooting Yard: On Naming Your Child After Your Favourite Reservoir.
I had not seen this film, so I cannot comment on the faithfulness of the adaptation, but I had been struck by the fact that, at certain points, some of the dancers had portrayed their characters quite...
View ArticleHooting Yard: On Gulls’ Eggs
“Oh woe is me! for I have not two gulls’ eggs to rub together!” This is the plaintive cry of the otherwise happy fellow whose fogou lies empty. It is a cry that, however often heard, never fails to tug...
View ArticleHooting Yard: On Tin Foil
The best thing you can do with your tin foil is to fashion for yourself a conical tin foil hat. It is important that you make a cone shape, rather than trying to mould the tin foil into the approximate...
View ArticleHooting Yard: On Barking Up The Wrong Tree
There may be circumstances in which you wish to ascertain whether your dog is barking up the wrong tree. I wouldn’t know; I don’t keep a dog myself. But I can imagine a situation where such knowledge...
View ArticleHooting Yard: On Speed
You will recall the film Speed (Jan de Bont, 1994) in which Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves are aboard a bus which will explode if it goes below fifty miles per hour, having been primed with a bomb by...
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On The Plains of Gath
And the Lord came unto the plains of Gath. And he was footsore, having walked for many days without rest. And he sat him down upon one of the tussocks which grow upon the plains of Gath. Then there...
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Hooting Yard: On Fate
It came as something of a shock when I learned that my fate was written in the stars. I had no idea that every last particular of my life, from cradle to grave, was foretold in the barely visible...
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Hooting Yard: On The Bad Vicarage
It was late on a winter’s evening when I turned on to the lane leading to the Bad Vicarage. There was ice in the puddles and the thorn bushes glittered in the moonlight. On the other side of a filbert...
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Hooting Yard: On the Livers of Polar Bears
Dobson was no stranger to controversy, but rarely did he create so tumultuous a brouhaha as was caused by his pamphlet Hints And Tips For Intrepid Explorers In The Polar Wastes (out of print). Dobson...
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